Well, take it also from someone that doesn't care *that much* about the numbers, so your mileage may vary, but there are calculators that work. Given a known starting gravity which you can get from your refractometer, you can take what your refrac is telling you with alcohol present and figure out what the gravity is. I know there's one built into BeerSmith. The big issue is that you HAVE to know what your starting gravity is for it to work, so if you forget to take reading on brew day you won't know what your final gravity is.
For example, I did a small pale ale a little while back. OG was 10.4 brix or 1.042. Finished beer was 4.8 brix. Throwing that through the beersmith calculator, the final adjusted specific gravity was 1.005 and a ABV of 4.83.
I am trusting that the calculator is right. But those numbers seem fine based on the beer and recipe I used.